A rumour has started that Premier Gordon Campbell’s imbutain addiction is behind some of his recent strange behavior.
Recently the premier has claimed the Olympics will not be over budget, that there are no snow problems at Cypress and the H.S.T is good for small business – self-delusion and incoherent speech is, apparently, a sign of advanced imbutain addiction. What can we expect if the premier continues to decline to seek treatment for imbutain addiction, you may ask trembling at the thought that the premier already has a history of ‘self-medicating’ and is probably unlikely to seek treatment.
Which means he will likely become increasingly paranoid, delusional and monomaniacal – yes it will be difficult to differentiate the symptoms from his usual personality so we will have to watch closely for tell tale signs. For example if the premier insists on carting around his urine samples or if he insists that all incoming correspondence first be approved by his imaginary friend ‘Bob, the giant rabbit.’ Or if he stands atop the legislature building and screams, ‘I’m king of the world!’ Those are definite signs, although he may have already done that last one.
In the meantime former premier Bill Vanderzalm has launched an official recall petition to block the H.S.T (who says there are no second acts in politics, just look at Nixon…yeah I know no one cares about Nixon anymore, but he sounds like he was a lot more fun to make fun of than Campbell).
Vanderzalm may be getting a little long in the tooth to begin his political resurrection, but on the plus side there are no rumours of imbutain addiction circulating about him. Plus unlike Campbell and NDP leader Carole James Vanderzalm is clearly opposed to taxing the province into oblivion and…did we mention he’s free of imbutain addiction?
Actually the irony here is Campbell may be pulling a Vanderzalm, letting his shortcomings pull down the entire party, with Vanderzalm it was questionable real estate deals, with Campbell it’s a drug fueled imaginary bunny named Bob. Maybe the Liberals should rethink their choice for leader of the party before we all wake up to Vanderzalm saying, ‘hah, how do you like them apples!’ Or considering the above maybe we should get behind the Zalm and wish him well in his struggle against the powermad, drug addicted (allegedly) premier.
