The famed ground hog Pawksatawny Phil will be predicting early springs no more, the charming rodent who has thrilled millions over the years has officially been given his walking papers.
Organizers of the original Ground Hog Day say the move was in the works for the last couple of years but the last straw was Phil's complete miscue on this year's Spring. "He said it was going to be a long brutal winter and meanwhile we're walking around in T-shirts and shorts, he just doesn't care anymore," said a source close to the celebrity ground hog. As well there have been rumours that fame has gone increasingly to Phil's head and his demands have become ever more outlandish.
"I really object to that I had a few requests and let's face it I'm the star of this little production so what's wrong with getting a few perks," said Phil.
Perks are one thing but organizers said Phil once requested a bowl of red M&Ms only to discover he was colour blind, which then blamed on his assistant and demanded she fired. "Oh that," said Phil, "Well look it wasn't about the M&Ms she kept hounding me for autographs for her friends and asking me if she could join me at parties, so as usual there's more to the story than the press reports.
What about a rumoured drinking problem?
"Drinking problem, is it wrong to want to start the day with a little of the good stuff, I mean it's cold here some mornings and sometimes I need a little more than coffee to get my game face on, if you know what I mean."
"Oh it went far beyond that," said the same unidentified source. "It got to the point where he wouldn't do anything until he had a cocktail in his hand. We told him he couldn't come out in front of the cameras this year with a martini in one hand and he threw a temper tantrum."
So what's next for Pawksatawny Phil now that his weather predicting days are over.
"Me, don't worry about me, my agents already fielding offers and I'm going to the Oscars with Madonna. Are any of these yokels going to the Oscars with Madonna, no they are not."
Perhaps to demonstrate that he does still have what it takes, Phil is predicting a long hot summer.
