It’s been one of those years, and since it’s a new decade as of January 1, we can (if we want to stretch it) say it’s been one of those decades.
What’s strange is most decades take a year or two (or longer) to get into their own groove, to establish their own identity so to speak. For instance the Nineties didn’t really feel like the Nineties until Grunge burst on the scene around 1992. The Aughts didn’t feel any different from the Nineties until 9/11. And the Sixties, well ask any Boomer, the Sixties began sometime in 1966 and ended with Watergate.
But the Teens have their own distinct feel right off the bat; this decade feels less hopeful. Or more realistic if you prefer; it’s the cynical decade, it’s the decade that stands over your shoulder and goes, ‘see, I told you so.’
Yes it’s promising to be one annoying decade; unless you are a cynic (yeah I know we all are to some degree, but some elevate it above a hobby to Life Path). If you are one of those people this could be your time to shine or to be shunned for embodying the times so perfectly and just generally being you old super annoying self.
Oh why do I despair so for the coming decade you ask? Well let’s look at the obvious answers first, two words – Gordon Campbell. Okay true he’ll either be turfed from office in 2013 or stabbed in the back 36 times sometime before that, but just the same, he could bring in a few more taxes in the interim.
As well he’ll be able to gut arts funding (yes there’s still more to gut) even more by the time we finally see the last of him (and counting the minutes till he’s gone isn’t much fun either.)
‘But he’s just added $10 million to arts funding,” I hear some of you say. And whoever you are you are idiots. He’s taken $10 million in existing arts funding and put it towards Spirit Festivals, these are corporate friendly arts ‘events’ designed to keep all of us thinking about the Olympics or as they put it, “reliving the Olympic experience.” The experience that is through sanitized ‘family friendly’ arts events designed to make us feel good about, oh I don’t know, important things I suppose, like wireless service and text messaging.
True I did have fun during the Olympics, but that had much more to do with drinking and having sex with young German tourists (okay it was really just that one) going through their experimental phase than it did Olympic spirit.
So we’ve got that to look forward to and in the meantime there’s no arts funding available to go towards arts groups that might give us some relief from Goebbels’ propaganda push. Wait did I say Goebbels Sorry I didn’t mean to compare the premier to Hitler’s minister of public enlightenment, sometimes Campbell and Goebbels are easily misspelled.
‘The Nazis, you’re bringing out the Nazi comparisons?’ No doubt some of you are screaming, and if you are stop it, you’re scaring the children. Yes Nazi comparisons are by their very nature over the top, but hey sometimes you gotta get people’s attention.
‘Well what else have you got besides Campbell, because you’ve already flogged that one to death?’ That’s what the more sensible amongst you are asking by now (you see you’re cynical you embrace the age). And you are right, we can’t lay everything at the premier’s feet. In the decade to come there will be others who are destined to become even more blame worthy (like I said it’s just going to be that sort of time).
In the meantime we have Marc Emory doing time in a US jail for offences that are basically legal in the state of California.
We have the BP oil spill.
We have Mel Gibson.
We have a show called ‘The Hills’ that people apparently watch for entertainment purposes.
And lest I forget we have the H.S.T, yay Teens!
‘Then what should we do, slit our wrists now and save ourselves 10 years of misery?’ Don’t be an idiot only young women getting over heartbreak and bad poets (Sylvia Plath didn’t slit her wrists) resort to such measures and the two are basically the same person anyway.
What to do? Do nothing, don’t worry, don’t panic, definitely drink more, if possible have more sex and whatever you do don’t forget your towel (thank you Douglas Adams). You can’t really do anything else other than make the best of a bad situation, lame perhaps but true. As someone once said, “if life gives you lemons, paint that shit GOLD!”
