Well I warned you he would be back someday and now he’s here in all his fuaxtanned, fantastic glory – it’s former premier Bill Vander ‘The Zalm’ Vanderzalm and his new cause célèbre that has vaulted The Zalm back into the political stratosphere, well maybe not stratosphere but we’ll give him troposphere. It’s all due to his not so quiet revolution to recall the H.S.T legislation, and the movement is gaining ground and crossing party lines since NDPers who realize Carole James is only popular when compared to Campbell and even then it’s close, are shrugging their shoulders and deciding, what the hell, it can’t hurt to try and ride The Zalm’s coattails and see where this goes.
Where it goes, as I’ve been saying for years if anyone cared to listen, is Campbell running to a waiting helicopter on the legislature’s front lawn, solo since Mrs. Campbell gave up on him years ago, and waving his red Olympic mittened hands before flying off into the sunset amid general cheering, that is except for the shattered Liberal party he’ll leave behind.
Vanderzalm of course hopes to revive the fortunes of the long marginalized B.C Conservative Party through his H.S.T revolution. But say in the unlikely event he is successful (don’t get me wrong I wish him success, but…) what would Vanderzalm bring to the table besides revoking the H.S.T?
Well it’s almost a certainty he would bring in legislation banning Asian realtors who wear loud hats (for all of you Ontario immigrants that’s a reference to…oh just look it up I can’t explain everything.)
He would bring back the grizzly hunt, which would be unpopular with the environmental crowd but hugely popular with the blood thirsty Norman crowd who currently have to let their cross bows and Mastiffs sit idle while the great beasts roam the country side terrorizing innocent berry pickers (so he would get the berry picker vote as well). Yes that Vanderzalm knows the political culture of B.C like no other.
Also on the plus side Vanderzalm would pledge to be a true free market leader, not just free markets for his four buddies at the golf club, which isn’t really a free market, however the last time someone tried to explain this to Campbell he had a temper tantrum and had to be put on the punishment step until he could be civil again.
Vanderzalm, so it’s been reported has also changed his attitudes towards the gay and lesbian community since his last tenure as premier and apparently he now has no problem with their right to exist, as long as they go to Mass.
So where does all of this leave Carole James, who is now caught between sniping at the hapless Campbell and trying to ignore the rising popularity of Vanderzalm.
“Damn, couldn’t someone put the stake back in his heart,” she might be thinking (oh come on that’s not that much of a stretch.)
For one brief shining moment James, the most unlikely person ever to have a chance at being elected premier since Amour Des Cosmos, had a shot at being elected premier. Now she has to decide, attack Campbell for bringing in the H.S.T and attack Vanderzalm for fighting the H.S.T or doing nothing and hoping the electorate don’t notice come 2013. My advice to James take the George Costanza route, the less you do the better off you’ll be. But still, she’s up against the mighty Zalm personality and just watch, once it gets fired up it’s fantastic (to Ontario immigrants, you see Zalm had this thing where he always said…ah nevermind.)
